Such as:
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
RESTAURANT | JACKSONVILLE, FL, USA |
(I have albinism, so I have very pale skin, white hair, and red irises.)
Me: “Hi. What can I get for you?”
Customer: “Are…are you a vampire?”
Me: “Well, my dad is half-vampire.” *laughing*
Customer: “Please, don’t bite me.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to bite you.”
Customer: “Don’t put any blood in my food either. I don’t want to be a vampire.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to put blood in your food. I’m not a vampire. We serve regular food here.”
Customer: “Let me speak to your manager.”
(I go and get my manager, and fill him in on what’s going on.)
Customer, to my manager: “Is your vampire waitress going to bite me?”
Manager: “Only if you don’t tip her well.”
(The woman looks completely horrified, but finally ends up ordering and leaving me a 21% tip.)
And this from down under:
It Must Have Been A New Moon
BOOKSTORE | MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA |
(This particular customer is a semi-regular who tends to loiter around the new age and paranormal sections. She has knee-length flowing blonde hair and is fond of hippyish clothing. Tonight, I notice her staring at me from a distance for a few minutes with a subtle, knowing smile.)
Me: “Hello, how are you today? Would you like any help?”
Customer: “Good, quite good. I don’t need any help, but can I just talk to you for a minute?”
Me: “Sure. What would you like to talk about?”
Customer: “You. I just have some questions about you. You work here quite a lot, don’t you? At night. I see you every night I come in.”
Me: “Yes, I do tend to work here Thursday and Friday nights.”
Customer: “I notice cause you’re so pretty. Such long dark hair and pale skin.”
Me: “Umm, thanks.”
Customer: “What’s your name?”
Me: “It’s [my name].”
Customer: “That’s a lovely name. A very old fashioned name. You don’t really hear it anymore.”
(By this point, I’m getting confused as I didn’t think my name was that uncommon. I’m not sure what point she’s trying to make.)
Customer: “What else do you do, other than working here?”
Me: “I’m in my fourth year of uni. My major is Science, but I do some electives in Literature and History.”
Customer: *smiles* “Ahhh. So you’re quite educated, as well.”
Me: “I guess you could say that.”
Customer: “Well, I had better not waste any more of your time. But I just want to tell you that I understand now, and I won’t tell anyone.”
Me: “Ah, ok. About what?”
Customer: “Your secret. That you are one of them. A vampire.”
(The customer leaves while I just stand there confused.)
Coworker: “What’s up?”
Me: “I ****ing hate Twilight…”
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
RESTAURANT | JACKSONVILLE, FL, USA |
(I have albinism, so I have very pale skin, white hair, and red irises.)
Me: “Hi. What can I get for you?”
Customer: “Are…are you a vampire?”
Me: “Well, my dad is half-vampire.” *laughing*
Customer: “Please, don’t bite me.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to bite you.”
Customer: “Don’t put any blood in my food either. I don’t want to be a vampire.”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m not going to put blood in your food. I’m not a vampire. We serve regular food here.”
Customer: “Let me speak to your manager.”
(I go and get my manager, and fill him in on what’s going on.)
Customer, to my manager: “Is your vampire waitress going to bite me?”
Manager: “Only if you don’t tip her well.”
(The woman looks completely horrified, but finally ends up ordering and leaving me a 21% tip.)
And this from down under:
It Must Have Been A New Moon
BOOKSTORE | MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA |
(This particular customer is a semi-regular who tends to loiter around the new age and paranormal sections. She has knee-length flowing blonde hair and is fond of hippyish clothing. Tonight, I notice her staring at me from a distance for a few minutes with a subtle, knowing smile.)
Me: “Hello, how are you today? Would you like any help?”
Customer: “Good, quite good. I don’t need any help, but can I just talk to you for a minute?”
Me: “Sure. What would you like to talk about?”
Customer: “You. I just have some questions about you. You work here quite a lot, don’t you? At night. I see you every night I come in.”
Me: “Yes, I do tend to work here Thursday and Friday nights.”
Customer: “I notice cause you’re so pretty. Such long dark hair and pale skin.”
Me: “Umm, thanks.”
Customer: “What’s your name?”
Me: “It’s [my name].”
Customer: “That’s a lovely name. A very old fashioned name. You don’t really hear it anymore.”
(By this point, I’m getting confused as I didn’t think my name was that uncommon. I’m not sure what point she’s trying to make.)
Customer: “What else do you do, other than working here?”
Me: “I’m in my fourth year of uni. My major is Science, but I do some electives in Literature and History.”
Customer: *smiles* “Ahhh. So you’re quite educated, as well.”
Me: “I guess you could say that.”
Customer: “Well, I had better not waste any more of your time. But I just want to tell you that I understand now, and I won’t tell anyone.”
Me: “Ah, ok. About what?”
Customer: “Your secret. That you are one of them. A vampire.”
(The customer leaves while I just stand there confused.)
Coworker: “What’s up?”
Me: “I ****ing hate Twilight…”