It's been a long time, Maddy, she thought as she puttered around her residence's office, looking over her books, remembering when she actually used this office for something other than leaser--

The two weeks after the Attack had been the most difficult of Madeline's life. She'd found herself on the verge of death through most of that period, placed there by a Death Eater's curse. She knew it'd been her own damn fault for allowing it in the first place: she'd been so intent on taking out the other two Death Eaters she'd forgotten Helena's First Rule: "Remember your surroundings and those there with you."

Oh, yes, you bad girl-- She smiled as she admonished herself once more. You forgot the woods could be used against you as well-- "Just like at Berlin," Madeline whispered. She'd seen how they'd used the woods then; she'd seen the Death Eater who almost got her; she didn't see the one that--

There was a knock on the door. Madeline couldn't imagine who was hunting her down right now: she figured everyone was still down in the dining room. "Come in," she called out, then straightened as the door opened. "Oh, Headmistress," she said. "What can I do for you?"

Mathilde quickly stepped into Maddy's office and shut the door. "Bonsoir, Madeline," she said before stepping over and kissing both of Maddy's cheeks. "I hope you don't mind the intrusion--"

She motioned for them to sit in the chairs in the corner. Mathilde waited for Madeline to get comfortable. "I wanted to see how you are doing," she finally said. "I know you're ready and eager to get back into your classes, and..." The Headmistress smiled. "As much as I have found instructing history merveilleux, I am ready to get back to the business of running the school."

She smiled, studying Madeline closely. "Are you excited for tomorrow, Maddy?" Mathilde crossed her legs and folded her hands into her lap. "To hand certificates to those who came to the aid of the Institute?" She let her voice slip a few octaves. "I would think you are nervous, no?"

Madeline scoffed. "Oh, I'm a bit nervous, but not as much as you might think, Mathilde." She knew that in private the Headmistress didn't mind if you used her given name when addressing her. "I have my own little fears, but they have nothing to do with the ceremony tomorrow."

She examined Mathilde as closely as she was examining her. "Are you still worried about me?" She kicked one leg over the other, throwing her right arm over the back of the chair. "You think I need more time away?"

"I am concerned about you, yes." Mathilde had made no secret that she'd wanted Madeline to take off another month and get away from the school, perhaps to spend time with her family in Virgina. "What happened to you was serious--life changing. Is it wrong for me to worry about you, Madeline doux?"

Madeline resisted the urge to chuckle. "Yes," she finally muttered, "it was life changing..." She looked up into the Headmistress' eyes, and Mathilde knew where the conversation was headed. "I've had a number of life changing experiences, Mathilde; this one isn't any different that those."

Before the Headmistress could speak, Madeline jumped in. "I know you mean well, Mathilde, but believe me..." She shook her head. "I'm used to this. I've gotten to where I'm used to death. I saw it in the Second War. I saw the aftermath of The Scouring, as did you."

She shifted in her chair, uncrossing her legs and bringing them together. "I've killed more people than I care to admit, and I've seen too damn many die." She stared into Mathilde's dark brown eyes. "But this is the first time I ever thought I'd really die, and it... it did something." Madeline shrugged. "Whatever it was, I still feel it, and I don't want to spend a lot of time examining it, or trying to understand it, or come to grips with it.

"I want to let it be for now." She laid her hand over the little table between their chair; it was obvious what she wanted, and Mathilde complied by taking her hand. "In time I'll come back to it, and know what it means, but now--" She gave Mathilde's had a squeeze. "I want to teach. I want to be a part of the school.

"I want to live, Mathilde, the only way I know how."

Though she knew some of the instructors though her cold-hearted, Mathilde felt so much for this woman this very moment. And she knew what it was: Madeline wanted to move on, and Mathilde understood when you've reached a point in your life where you no longer want to look back, where the baggage of the past had become too much to carry, and you finally cast it aside--

"As you wish, Maddy." She gave Madeline's hand one last squeeze then released it back to it's owner. "So, then: do you have any special words you wish to say tomorrow?" There was a twinkle in her eye. "To anyone?"

Gods, she is so transparent, Madeline thought. "I know that look, Mathilde." She stood up and walked over to her desk, poured two glasses of water and returned. As she handed Mathilde her drink she said, "You want to meet someone so badly why don't you just summon them to your office?" She said, smoothing out her pants. "You do have that right, don't you? To call people into your office whenever you feel like it?"

Madeline sipped her drink, smiling over the rim of the glass as she said, "Damnit, Mathilde, sometimes you're worse than a kid."